How To Test For True Love in a Relationship
Harry stack a psychiatrist asserts that “when the satisfaction, happiness and security of another are as real to you as your own, you truly love that person”.
Image courtesy: infographicszone.com
First of all I will like us to take a look at the similarities and differences between love and infatuation.
Infatuation: - a sense of reasoning love or sexual attraction to someone/thing, it is also known as folly: To be inspired with unreasoning love or attachment.
Love: - a profound caring affection towards someone, a feeling of intense attraction, trust, security, care and mercy towards someone, to be strongly inclined and dedicated to someone, to derive delight in someone and have an emphatic form of like for someone.
Love and infatuation can be mistaken if not confused for each other due to their similarities but in spite of their numerous similarities they both have some peculiarities.
Infatuation according to Wikipedia is the state of being carried away by unreasoned passion. It is an object of extravagant, short-lived passion/temporary love.
It is a cocktail of emotions that may falsify the erotic sense of reality.
It is a state of being carried away without insight or proper evaluative judgment; it is a blind desire, an obsession caused by increase in adrenalin in the body.
Infatuation is an addiction and it occurs usually at the beginning of a relationship where sexual attraction is central.
The characteristics of infatuation include the following: - sexual desire, urgency, anxiety, intensity, reckless abandonment of what was once valued, high risk choices and high tendency of emptiness, it feels like a chemical reaction in the brain, desire to be always with the person no matter the cost.
It disappears after a while i.e it is temporary in nature, it is a now force and it is delusional, foolish and all absorbing. It is caused by sex appeal.
While love is an intense feeling of deep affection not just an attraction, love is faithful, loyal, confident and willing to compromise and sacrifice. It is not selfish, it can see the differences because someone in love have the power of rational thinking, it gives the other party a room, right and a chance, it is characterized with commitment and intentions and cares about others feelings. Clove communicates and appropriates, possess a good sense of judgment. Love can be platonic or romantic.
Love is secured, peaceful, stable and content, and grows deeper and stronger with time. Although it starts gradually and grows continually yet it may last for a life time.
With a deep knowledge of the differences and similarities of both love and infatuation, you can know if your partner loves you or not and if you love your partner or not.
Infatuation can cause someone to harm the partner or even be suicidal if they feel they are not getting the attention they require in return.
You can test for love also with the following: -
- Appreciation/Admiration test: - Does your partner appreciate your person, does he/her cherish you? Is he/she proud of you when you guys are with friends and family? Does he/she give you an imperial carriage or kills your self-esteem?
Does he/she always commend your good attributes and strengths or all he/she are your weaknesses and fault? Think deep and answer!
Note that it is a different thing to always find fault and another to strive to improve someone, the fault finder will never see good in you or appreciate you but the one who ones to improve you will appreciate you. True love will always strive to improve others.
- The patient test: - there is a difference between trying to cope ( condole) and being patient, patience is waiting without losing temper, it is to bear, sustain, support and hold up in spite of challenges, it is characterized with peace and calmness. Is your partner always in control of his/her feelings at every situation or overzealous? Check!
- Intimacy/companionship test: - intimacy is not all about sex! Does he/she seek companionship at all times? How often does he/she seek to spend quality time with you, to know you more, understand your person and how best to relate with you? check it out and know if you are the one always initiating your meetings.
- Love is sacrificial: - examine how sacrificial he/she is to you, does he/she let down his/her ego and compromise at times for peace and to please you, or is he/she a hardened, rigid and an uncompromising bigot? If yes the choice is yours. Is he/she generous and a free giver? Note that there is no love without giving, so if he/she tells you he/she loves you without giving you then that love is questionable.
- His he/she a free forgiver? :- you have to know if your partner is the kind that forgives easily or always embittered and keeps repeating or reminding you of your offences/mistakes, or long gone issues, does he/she ever forget an offense? No matter how someone pretends, you can know this by how he treats and talk about others around him/her, is he/she always talking about how sad and offended or angry he/she is with someone that offends him/her in the past? This is a red flag friend.
- To crown it all you need to know if your partner is still in his/past; because if still in the past he/she does not love you.
How to know if someone is still in the past.
When he/she keeps mentioning past events, success, glory, achievement or even hard breaks, failures and hurting events. Most especially if he/she keeps mentioning past relationships when you are together and has refused to grow up and accept the reality in now.
I hope that with what has been discussed so far in this article, you can ascertain if someone really loves you or you are the one in love.
Watch your back friends, the signs are always there if only you can be sensitive.
I wish you an unending love life.