WARNING: READ THIS BEFORE GETTING MARIED
The Essential things to check in your partner befor you get married.
The follwoing are categories of attributes, situations and circumstances to be considered before embarking on the endless journey of marriage. A thorough appraisal of these issues will go a long way to guarantee a blissful marriage.
Spirituality and Religion
When choosing a life partner it is usually better to choose someone with the same believes and religion you practice, although to some people this is not a factor for concern as they believe in free will and will not interfere with others’ believes and religious practices, but for a perfect bonding and compatibility before and in marriage, religious practices and spiritual status are essential factors to consider. This is because it can affect the sense of judgment of individuals as well as their circular and behavioral patterns. Partners with significantly divergent views and beliefs about spirituality and religion may be headed for marital disaster in the future.
Biological and Genetic Features
This involves the theoretical unit of heredity (transmission of the physical and genetic qualities of parents to their offspring, passed on inheritance/attributes). A precise trait of form, the genotype, DNA or RNA, the phenotype, Rhesus factor among others, all these must be considered and checked before marriage to avoid future catharsis. You must ensure your spouse is compatible with you medically before you go ahead with the marriage.
Genotype compatibility chart.
AA+AA=AA, AA (VERY GOOD)
AA+AS=AA, AS (GOOD)
AA+SS= AS, AS (GOOD)
AA+AC= AA, AC (GOOD)
AS+AS= AA, AS, SS (BAD)
AS+SS + AS, SS (BAD)
SS+SS = SS, SS (VERY BAD)
If two people that are not medically compatible end up together this may lead to the production of unhealthy children or even still births.
This has to do with the Arts, Customs, background, lifestyles and habits that characterize a particular society or nation. It also includes the belief values, knowledge passed on from one generation to the next, the language and peculiarities of a geographical location. When choosing a life partner this is a factor to also consider except the proposed spouse is not rigid in his/her values and is ready to explore and accept others.
This has to do with the conduct, actions, the way an individual acts or operate, this can be due to all of the afore mentioned factors. The sum total of all the above results in the behavioral pattern of an individual. Someone’s behavior can be rational or irrational, take a closer look at your proposed partner and know where he/she falls, rational or irrational?
People’s behavior can be polite, rude, proud, overbearing, extremely jealous, rigid, flexible, friendly, hospitable, stingy, gullible, just know what you want, who is more compatible with you and who you can cope with. Therefore, the main factor to consider when choosing a partner is “BALANCE” whereby the two parties complement each other.
Moreover, peace is an essential factor in every relationship, if you feel at peace in your relationship you are good to go. Please note that peace is not the absence of challenges but it is feeling at rest even in the midst of storms because challenges are common in relationships. Also, there must be the absence of fear because there is no fear in love.
You have to run an Anger test also so you can know how your partner reacts when infuriated.
How to do Anger test
Provoke him/her for no reason and watch how he/she behave/reacts.
Is he the type that destroys things when angry?
Look at his/her countenance can you see fire in his/her eyes although he/she is trying to hide it and pretending to be calm?
Is he/she aggressive or simply calm?
Is he /she scratching the table, trying to transfer the aggression to something or someone else? All these are signs of grave anger.
Did he/she slap you or show the tendency to be physical with you?
The choice is yours!
When he/she sees you with the opposite sex how does he/she behave?
Is he/she the type that destroys things or is even capable of murder simply because of jealousy?
Watch While In Love.
To be realistic when deeply in love it may be very difficult to know if your partner is the right person for you in marriage. Yet, it is expedient that you choose rightly because you are embarking on a life journey, therefore, having considered all the above you can also use the following tips while making your final decision.
Check if there is shared feelings and assurance of mutual trust, respect, honesty and shared values between the two of you or you are the only one in love here. If the answer is no, then do yourself a favor, Walk!
How does your friends and family feel about your relationship and what do they see in the relationship?
You can know this by asking them questions, since they always want the best for you they are sure to give you sincere answers as in, tell you how they truly feel about the relationship and what they see in the relationship. You may be totally blind to the relationship even though all the handwritings are on the wall, all because you are in love, there may be one thousand and one things wrong yet you can’t see anything wrong, so your friends and family’s opinion at times may go a long way in helping you make your own decision, just watch out for that one thing that is common to all their views. This may help you take a honest and closer look at the relationship.
What are your proposed spouse’s weaknesses and strengths, negative and positive attributes?
Write out your partner’s weaknesses and negatives and see if you condone them and if he/she is willing to improve on them and turn them to strength. Check also if his/her positive and strengths overrides the weaknesses and negatives. Some people are hardened, rigid, and bent on their personalities; avoid those people because people rarely change, so if you can’t cope with them, please walk.
How does he/she treat you or make you feel?
You don’t have to assume or conclude all by yourself, when someone truly loves you it will reflect in how he/she treats you, when you are around him how does he/she treat you? Does he/she treat you with respect, handle you passionately and with care, or does not care about you and how you feel?
Does he/she give you attention or is always engrossed with his/her phone, computer or is always busy with something else while you feel all alone even when he/she is there with you? Do you still feel a vacuum that needs to be filled in your heart in the relationship?
Do you feel like a king/queen and does he/she treat you as such? Is he/she proud of you and shows you off to his/her friends and family or hides you from them, tries to avoid taking you to gatherings of friends, when his friends and family are around how does he/she treat you? Is he proud to walk the streets with you?
Does the relationship bring out the best in you; reveal your strengths, qualities and the beauty in you or does it bring out the beast in you? Your relationship is supposed to “increase” you and not “decrease” you.
How jealous is your partner?
Yes, jealousy may be a sign of love but when it becomes extraordinary and life threatening then it should be a matter of concern, if he/she is the type that slaps you, beats you up or shows any traits of the capacity of doing these in the future when he/she sees you with someone else then you have to think twice. You don’t over look anything you can’t condone, that’s why some marriages don’t last long.
What are your common grounds?
What are the things you have in common? Do you always feel at home when around him/her? You do need to have at least a few common ground, for instance, your likes and dislikes, values, beliefs, hobbies. at least you should both have some similarities, something you both enjoy doing as this will enable a last longing relationship and friendship except you are both ready to learn and adapt.
How does he/she treat people around him/her?
Watch with both eyes opened how he/she treats his friends, families and even neighbours, schedule holidays with him/her that can give you room for visiting his friends and family, mind you how he/she treats them now (friends and family) is how he/she will eventually treat you.
Marriage is a journey that is without a destination because it does not have an end, therefore, when in the quest for choosing a life partner no need to hurry, be patient, vigilant and ensure you give your best because it takes the best to attract the best and it takes compromise and sacrifice to have a good relationship and marriage.